Hiding place
by Linneagb
Summary: Two new kids arrive at the dumping ground in a matter of like five minutes. The boy is a whole story in itself. However, certain circumstances might lead to the residents and care workers to find something out- something that was very well hidden- and certainly never expected.
1. Two different ki(n)ds

**Hey guys. Welcome to my new story. As you've already seen it's called hiding place and without any further ado. I hope you like it.**

 **Mike POV**

"How far left until we go to the swimming pool Mike?"

I suppressed a sigh. For the last fourteen days, ever since I had mentioned we would go, Floss would ask that at least five times a day. And so even today, even though she knew perfectly well it was exactly a week to what the children referred to as 'swimming pool day'.

"Floss." I decided to change the subject. "Can you go and find the twins and then come back here. I need to speak to you all." Floss nodded and ran off. And this time I didn't even try to suppress my sigh while I leaned back against the kitchen island and rubbed my forehead. I had dreaded that I wouldn't be able to come to another decision than this. But this was it- we didn't have time now for moving around people all around and fix it in any other way.

"There is a new girl arriving today…" I told them when they had sat on each high chair on the other side of the kitchen island. "…And… during… some circumstances it's very important that she has her own space… her own room and…" I couldn't help to sigh and rub my forehead again. "..I have come to the decision that the best decision is to let you Floss, move into the same room as you two."

"WHAT?"

Three voices at once… really?

"Why can't Jody move in with Carmen and Kazima or something? Or Jody and Sacha and Tee."

"Yeah, they would be better with sharing."

"Or Mo with Harry and Finn."

"Or Ryan with Tyler."

"Or we can just kick out Ryan."

"Yeah, nobody likes him anyway."

"GUYS." I held up both of my hands and shouted. "I'm sorry. But it's the best decision. And I've gone through every single opportunity. And we won't be kicking out nobody. I have already gotten a bunk bed, Toni and Billie you can decide whom of you can have what bunk. And Floss you can have just a single bed as you do now. And I promise you I'll find a way of how we can store everyone's stuff but please cooperate right now… please." I put my hands together. "Please." The doorbell rang. "Here she is. I'll help you guys later…" I was backing towards the hallway. "You just go and watch TV or whatever so long."

"Hey Sarah." I greeted the care worker. "And hey…"

"Mike." Sarah interrupted. "There's been an emergency. I don't want to just leave Milly here and go but…" I waved at her. "Thank you." She disappeared out into the pouring rain and I looked down on the scrawny red- haired girl.

"Hi." The young girl said with a bright smile while she shook my hand. "I'm Milly Halls. You must be Mr. Milligan- Michael, whatever you like to be called."

"Oh wow, we don't often meet such polite children here." I smirked and blinked at her. "But please, just call me Mike- everybody does."

"Alright… Mike" She smiled back at me and fingered with the shoulder strap of her backpack. "Is there somewhere I can put my things?" I was still smiling and led her up the stairs and to Floss's old room. "Cool… So… I can just…" She walked into the room and dropped the backpack on her bed. "Cool! Can I meet the others?"

"Yes, certainly." I dropped the big trunk on the bed next to her backpack and then led our way downstairs and into the living room. "Everyone. This is Milly Ha…" I didn't have the time to finish the sentence before I could hear the phone ring in the office and I sighed and patted Milly's shoulder. "You can say hello to everybody. Everyone be nice." I turned and hurried to the office. "Ashdene Ridge, Mike Milligan speaking."

"Mike!"

"Hey." I froze- Sarah? She had just been here. "There was an emergency. A boy, around ten, twelve. He's here with me now but we haven't gotten him to say much. We need to find a placement as soon as possible and… I know you already got one kid today but I can't think of anywhere else to send him…"

I didn't hesitate for a second. I never did when it came to being able to help a child.

"Take him here." I said calmly, trying to calm Sarah down for she sounded very stressed up. "Don't worry about it. Drive carefully, see you in a second" I hung up again and hurried into the living room to get to talk to the children at all before Sarah would come back. "There's another kid coming in a minute. I don't know much- he's about the same age as you Milly. That's about all I know for now…" I sighed and slumped down in the sofa next to Milly. "So, Milly Halls… anything you'd like to tell me about yourself?"

"Well…" She shrugged and hesitated. "My name is Milly Halls." She looked around at the others who had also gathered around her. "I'm eleven years old… I like penguins." She looked down on her shirt, printed with a big penguin on the front. "Obviously! I like tennis as well… Oh and I have… I have something called cystic fibrosis." I nodded- Sarah had told me about this when we spoke earlier. "I have loads of medicines. Should I go get them now?" I looked up, then shook my head when the doorbell rang again.

"That can wait until later. I gotta go now."

I quickly got onto my feet to meet and greet. While coming through the hallway Sarah came in with the boy whom I glanced up and down while coming closer. He was completely dressed in black and white with white shoes, black jeans, black hoodie that despite the weather was opened and had the sleeves rolled up over a white T shirt, then both beanie and backpack, black with white prints. The beanie's reading 'whatever' and the backpack's 'nothing but trouble'

Well, that was everything except for rainbow colored shoelaces and bracelet. And in his hand I could see a phone with a case with white background and rainbow pattern- there was something up with this style that wouldn't let me let go or keep fascinated by it. But the style didn't matter much for the moment being when I looked up and met the boy's cold glare.

The boy had brown eyes, but they seemed so very cold. Only in the way they could of someone that had started pushing just everybody away after being hurt way too many times. And certainly didn't seem like the eyes of a boy his age. Those were the eyes of someone who seemed even more broken trying to shut the rest of the world out. And while not everybody might see that- well, when you'd worked with broken children as long as I had…

"And this is… Well… Ehrm…" Sarah hesitated. "Well… why don't you tell Mike your name honey?"

"Don't call me honey." The boy in front of me, next to Sarah said now eyeing me up and down. I tried to smile, but something in the boy made me feel so uneasy. "So… Mike…" He dropped the backpack by his feet and crossed the arms over his chest. "Here's the deal. What you would be pretty sure you already know about me- the thing you think you know. It's what I won't tell you and what you'd never expect. As long as nobody asks about that, as long as everybody leaves me the heck alone- I'm cool with this. And when I'm cool with it I guess you will be too. Any questions?"

"Ehrm…"

"And don't ask about my name? I won't be answering it until I know I can trust you… So, where are the other losers stuck in this care home? Can I meet them?"

Normally I'd scold anyone who referred to the children as losers- or anything else meant in an insulting way. But I was still kind of surprised and uneasy by the boy. So while I still couldn't get one word out I gestured towards the living room and turned to Sarah. The boy looked around, and without any further ado lifted his backpack up, threw it over one shoulder and walked into the living room.

"Cheerio losers." The boy greeted and threw himself down in the corner of the sofa. "Gimme." He grabbed the remote from Floss's hand and switched the channel to where the theme to big bang theory was playing. "My favorite's on right now." There were loud complaints from Floss, not so much from Tyler who liked big bang theory as much as this boy must. But I knew that I should step in, give the remote back to Floss and scold the boy for… whatever he was playing at!

But I still couldn't scold- or say a single thing to or about the boy that had just barged into the lives of me and the residents of the dumping ground. And while I tried to find the right words to say or things to do there was only one question spinning in my head. Because I must have already known that something was going to turn out like nothing I had ever seen before.

 _What on earth was I supposed to do now?_

 **So, the boy is pretty sure that there's something about him that neither Mike nor the others would guess. Something they would think they knew- huh? Weird… He also won't tell anyone neither his name nor anything else about himself, and is the complete opposite of the new girl who seems all happy and bright and… what on earth does cystic fibrosis mean? As well it seems like Mike is more or less frightened of this new kid. What on earth is going on?**

 **Well… more of that- next time.**

 **Milly is a character made by x snow- pony x and she is portrayed by Taylor Richardson. The boy is my character and portrayed by JJ Totah. There are polyvores made for them added to my collection 'other stories'**

 **Random fact**

The title is actually referring to a hymn with the same title. Why I've chosen this will come out later in the story but I will NEVER EVER try and shove down either my beliefs or the beliefs of the characters down anyone's throat. It will (probably) not have a big part of the story either. It will however be a part and there'll be mentions of the bible and such stuff. If you don't like it, you do not have to read it.

Well, back to the title and that hymn. Well, I didn't choose it just because it's a great song and I liked the title. But sitting and wondering about the title I was also remembering this time when I was in church and we sang it. And I couldn't sing along- even though I love singing, because I wasn't feeling that great. But that however- is another story.


	2. Broken

**I am so sorry I started this story and then just fell off the face of the earth. Oh well, here is the second chapter and I hope you all like it. Honestly I haven't got much for an idea but… we'll see how it goes. It's still told from Mike's POV.**

It took most of me to get myself out of that half-conscious state. And still in it. I looked to Sarah who seemed as chocked as I was by this young lad who had suddenly barged into the dumping ground- and our lives with his rude ways and clothes still dripping wet.

"Ehrm… you…" At last I walked into the room and snatched the remote from his hand. "…Floss was watching… I think we should let her and we could go into the kitchen and… ehrm… Milly… you come too. We'll go… we'll go to the office and… and you can… you can introduce yourselves yeah?" I shook my head, not realizing what I had said and quite the meaning of it. "Actually you… need to come alone so you… you come first."

The boy that had kept glaring at me since I got the remote from his hand was still only glaring up at me without a word. Then as I slowly backed the first few steps towards the door, and as I saw the boy pushing himself up and getting onto his feet to follow Sarah and me into the office I turned around and walked forward. Until in the office and I made sure the door was completely closed behind us.

"So…" In the split second it took for me to move from the door to my desk chair I forced myself to go back into my normal state so I would at all be able to talk. "…Not ask about your name." I gave a slight, nervous smile at the boy sitting in the sofa. Still glaring at me in that cold way that made me feel like he was seeing everything there was in me. "Would there be something we can call you?... Ehrm, how old are you? What do you like doing? Anything you could think that we'd like to know about you."

"I'm eleven." The boy's voice was low and callous and made shivers go through my spine. "I guess I'll try to come up with an alright name… Look! I have this backpack." He held up the backpack he had come with. "It's got a pair of pyjama pants, a necklace, a Rubik's cube and a stuffed bee. The only clothes I've got are the ones I'm wearing, so I guess either you will have something I can borrow. Or I will keep on making wet stains wherever I go,"

I glanced the boy up and down and couldn't understand how I had missed it. His clothes were dripping wet leaving soaked stains on the sofa and the floor, his short, dark hair was dripping just as well and the sneakers making spongy sounds when he stood up and took the few steps to the window to look outside, he raised his hand to push the blinders and there and then I could see he had a necklace chain pulled several laps around his wrist, and as he opened his hand a gold cross fell, but stopped as the chain straightened.

"I like your…" I had to make a pause to swallow and looked to Sarah. Apparently this kid was making her slightly uncomfortable too. "…cross." The boy turned again and then held up his hand. Then without another word he unstrapped it from his hand and pulled it around his neck. "So… is there anything else you'd like to tell us about yourself? What food do you like, don't like? Or are you allergic to anything?"

"No."

"Is there nothing you like or don't like?"

"I guess not."

"So… is there anything else you'd like to tell us?"

"No."

"Not your name neither?"

"No."

"Well then I guess… I'll handle the sorting out rooms and everything. You can do whatever you'd like- do not change the channel though. You're gonna get the chance to watch whatever you want but right now is Floss's program." I sighed trying to find the right words. "You can come here if you'd like to ask something, do not go outside- at least not just yet. If you're hungry you can go to the kitchen. Grab whatever you like from the cupboards. And ehrm… I think that's it then." The boy gave a slight nod and stood up. Then, finally taking his eyes of me turned and walked out the room. "It would be great if you could ask Milly to come in here."

The boy looked back at me again and with his eyes meeting mine I almost wished I had gone to get Milly myself. His eyes made him seem so cold- but so broken and once again shivers went through my spine.

I had worked in care for so very long and worked with Lord knows how many children. I knew so many of them would seem impossible to have anything to do with from the start. Yet I had never met anything like this boy before. I had never met anyone that made me scared. And I had a good feeling that while all of the children came from broken backgrounds- I had never met anyone so broken before.

 _What on earth were we going to do about this kid?_

 **Jody POV**

"What is it with that boy?" I whispered to Tyler when the new boy came into the room, told Milly to go to the office and then just stood there glaring around him while Milly got up and Carmen with her to show her to the office. "Why does he keep glaring?"

"I don't know." Tyler whispered back a bit too loud. "He's kind of creepy." The boy looked to Tyler- but it was kind of impossible to tell if he had heard what Tyler said or not as he had been glaring already before Tyler had said anything. "Poor thing that has to share a room with him." I only nodded agreeing. "Ten bucks Mike won't be able to help this one."

"Mike usually helps." I answered- I wasn't so sure about this one. "Ten bucks and three packs of chocolates- or bacon crisps if you win." I shook hands with Tyler. I looked back to the boy who was still glaring around him and took a deep breath. "Can I help you with something?" The boy just shrugged, and looking him up and down again I noticed he was dripping wet. "Do you want to borrow some clothes? I can show you to the laundry room. No one will mind if you borrow something."

"Actually…" The boy looked down on his clothes. "That would be nice. She looks like she would mind." He looked to Carmen who had just come back into the room. "Don't worry princess. I don't want to borrow your clothes neither. Boys don't wear pink."

"Yes they do." Tyler looked down on his own pink T shirt. "That's only sexist! But I get what you mean about Carmen's clothes."

The boy didn't answer- he seemed not to do that when he had to realize he was wrong- and sure boys could wear pink (or clothes like Carmen's) at any time they wanted. But whatever he thought himself, and I stood from the couch to show him into the laundry room where loads with laundry waiting to be folded and put into wardrobes laid on top of the laundry machines.

"Here you go." I waved towards the biggest pile. "You just choose all you want. Do you want me to show you around later on?" The boy started digging through the clothes and I kept on talking. "So what is your name?"

"None of your business."

"How old are you then?"

"Thirteen."

"Really? You look younger."

"I'm thirteen."

"I'm thirteen too, but almost fourteen."

"Mhm. What's that?"

At the question I quickly looked in the direction the boy was, and I saw him move and point. But I couldn't see anything except for what was normal and turned back to the boy that had found a pair of Harry's jeans.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just thought I saw something. Do you think I could borrow this?" he said pulling out one green hoodie of mine and checked the size. "Is this yours?" I nodded. "Is it okay?"

"Yes." I forced a smile- maybe if I was nice to this boy it would help me to win mine and Tyler's bet. "Of course it is. Unless you mind wearing girls' clothes- or second hand because that's where I usually get my clothes."

The boy gave a very slight smile. But he didn't say anything, but with my hoodie and Harry's jeans thrown over one arm, and a pair of socks in the other hand he looked to me and I showed him to the bathroom.

"You can give me those wet clothes when you've got the new ones on." I told him outside the door to the bathroom. "I'll just take them down to the laundry room." The boy just nodded and then disappeared through the door and I heard it lock. I frowned as he was out of sight and then sunk down towards the wall to wait for him to come out again.

I didn't care whatever it took- I was so winning this bet against Tyler. I didn't even care about those money or chocolate biscuits but I was not giving up my pride. So if it took following that zombie around to show him around or make sure he got some warm and dry clothes on. Then I guess I would just get on with it.

"That's it then." When he came out again he was holding a towel in one hand and the wet clothes in the other. "Here." He gave me it all. "Can I wait here?" I nodded to him and then sprinted down the stairs, threw the laundry into the laundry room and then pointed out the bedroom doors. On the way I could see Floss moving her stuff into what would be hers and Toni and Billie's room and then the pointing out only continued- even though from the beginning he would probably remember like one, or none at all. And so we came to the last door.

"So who lives in there?"

"That's the attic." I answered him with a slight smile. "Nobody has got their room there. We just store old things there. Sometimes people go here for a hiding place when they need some time on their own. Getting a place like that can be quite hard in a place like this. As you probably can understand."

"Yeah." The boy gave a slight smirk and ruffled in his hair. "How many are there here?"

"Ehrm…" I counted. "Fourteen… sixteen now when you and Milly are here." The boy nodded and we slowly continued through the hallway. "So... is there anything else about you." The boy shrugged and fingered with the cross around his neck. "Do you believe in God? Do you like going to church? Do you always wear that necklace?"

"Yes, yes and yes."

"Nobody likes going to church." I said, before I had the time to hesitate. "You go there if someone makes you. It's never fun to sit and listen to a priest go on and on and on about things you don't even understand." I stopped talking when I realized what I was saying- there are more than seven billion people in the world. Even I could understand that somebody has to like church. For a moment I was afraid that the boy might be angry, but he just shrugged and kept on talking in that monotone tone.

"Some people like it- I do."

I would have liked to ask him more questions about it. I didn't believe in God myself- but religion was one of my best subjects at school, it was just so fascinating. And just because I didn't believe in God now wouldn't have to mean I couldn't change my mind. But suddenly I could hear the front door open and close and May-Li's voice sounded loud through Ashdene Ridge.

"Hello everyone. Dinner- I brought pizza."

"Yes." I boxed in the air. "Pizza's my favorite- except for chocolate biscuits. That was May-Li. The other care worker except for Mike. Come and meet her." I grabbed the boy by the hand and pulled him with me down the stairs and into the kitchen. "May-Li this is…" I looked back at the boy and once again realized he hadn't told us a name of his.

"Hi. I'm the new kid." Before I had the time to come up with anything else to say Milly had kind of saved the day. "My name's Milly- Milly Halls. I came here just a little while ago. He did too…" She nodded to the boy behind me. "But we aren't siblings and he won't tell us no name of his. I take it you are May-Li. Mike told me about you."

Milly who I had noticed seemed very polite earlier seemed a bit more relaxed now and kept on chattering to May-Li while everyone at the same time tried to grab each slice of pizza. I sat down next to Floss and then showed the boy to sit down on my other side, but he looked to the food seeming kind of uncomfortable at first until he opened his mouth to speak.

"Isn't there anything vegetarian?"

"Not right now." May-Li told him. "Are you a vegetarian?"

"Yes."

"Oh…" Mike moaned. "Why didn't you tell us about that?" he sounded annoyed. But knowing Mike he was just stressed and he sighed deeply before looking back at the boy. Even Mike who had seemed very nervous in the company of this boy was starting to become normal. Even if he seemed kind of tense when the boy looked at him.

"Well… you need to eat something…" May-Li said before anyone else- including Mike had had the time to say anything. "But if you want to eat with the others there's no time for cooking. Is there anything you can think of that you like?"

"Do you have any Weetabix? And strawberry jam?"

"Yeah I think so." May-Li stood up and went to the cupboards and soon the boy had what we had asked for. "And no Floss. You need to have some real food. You can have some of that for dessert later on if you want."

"Not fair."

For a moment I could see this place through the eyes of someone who was new here, in this case Milly and (especially) the boy. All the noise, the countless doors to countless rooms, all the talking and all of people's different wills (currently Floss wanting Weetabix instead of pizza) and I couldn't help but smile and look back at the boy.

But his monotone staring around him as he poured milk over the Weetabix was just the same as it had been before. And it made me wonder what on earth could have happened to break him so to this point.

Once Floss had eaten half a slice of pizza she could have Weetabix with strawberry jam for dessert and so the life in the dumping ground just continued. I made countless tries to get the boy into what we were doing. But he didn't seem to mind and just sat in the living room watching TV or riffling in a magazine. Towards the end of the day the boy sat down in the hallway on the stairs. Without a book or anything else to do, he just sat there and silently glared at everybody who walked by. I would have asked what he was doing and why he was doing it- but I was a bit afr… no. I wasn't afraid! I was Jody Jackson and I'm never afraid.

 _The boy just seemed so very weird and impossible to talk to_

 **Boy POV**

Where I sat on the small stairs in the hallway when the younger children were getting ready for bed they would pass me one by one, most of them passing me more than once and then Floss, and then the twins and they all looked at me walking by me as far away from me as possible as if they thought that if they came too close I'd eat them up in one bite or something.

I actually didn't in any way enjoy treating all the people around me rudely. But I knew I had to, I couldn't let any of these people come close to me.

Because if they would come close the things I was doing my best to hide would be revealed. And if they were to be revealed…

 _Well, let's just say that would mean trouble- loads of trouble_

 **I'm sorry. I know this chapter is super boring. But I need this and possibly a chapter or two more to introduce everything and everyone before things starts happening. So I hope you can stick to it until things starts happening.**

 **As another note, I said it before but I'm saying it again. Christian beliefs will have a part of this story. The boy's beliefs will be based on my own. I will NEVER try and shove down these beliefs down anybody else's throat. But if you would feel insulted for people talking about other beliefs and religions then your own or just don't like reading about people believing- you do not have to read the story.**

 **Random fact**

Parts of this chapter is actually based of a roleplay I have with x snow-pony x to make more ideas for this story. I have more ideas for the future of the story. So while this chapter is quite boring, I can promise you things will get very much more dramatic in the future and I can't wait to show you my ideas.


	3. What a mess

**Once again- I am so, so sorry I seemed to just fell off the face of the earth after I put up a chapter. I really had no idea on how to continue with this. But here I am and with a brand new chapter for you all- enjoy**

 **I noticed that at one point in the second chapter it said that the boy is thirteen years old. And at another point it says eleven. I've been thinking and the boy is thirteen and nothing else. Everybody's got it.**

 **Thanks to x snow-pony x and breather89 for reviewing on the second chapter.**

 **Mike POV**

"Oh, sorry, sorry."

I had as good as stumbled over the boy who sat on the short stairs in the hallway and continued stumbling away from him and it took me a few seconds until I was steady on my feet again and when I did and could turn around to look at him he was still only looking with the same cold glare as before.

"We bought some more vegetables and fruits and stuff for you." I tried nervously but his expression didn't change while I came to sit down next to him. "So you won't have to live on Weetabix, milk and strawberry milk until you're like anemic… very anemic" I had no idea where that came from but that didn't matter. "So… is there something that you like doing… any plans for tomorrow?"

The boy shrugged, but the look on his face didn't change. We sat silent next to each other for what must have been several minutes until the boy finally spoke up.

"So where am I gonna sleep?"

I lost my breath in the sudden thought that I actually hadn't been thinking about that. The younger children had already gone off to bed so it wasn't a good time to start moving around furniture. And honestly I wasn't so sure putting this boy to share with anyone was a very good idea

"Uhm…"

"It's a bit late to think about that isn't it? Jody mentioned there's an old couch in the attic. I went up to check- can't I just sleep there?"

"Uhm… I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"Is it a better idea to wake someone up starting to move a bed half across the house since you haven't been thinking about where I am going to sleep until now? Or that I share a bed with…"

"Mike…" The boy silent when I could hear another voice in the other end of the hallway. And I looked up to see Milly standing there. "…Am I interrupting something because I can wait…" She backed away a couple of steps but I gestured for her to stay there.

"Look! I'm tired. I want to go to bed and it's too late to wonder about it. Can't I just sleep up in the attic?"

"Uhm…"

"Come on…"

"Okay." I answered him at last. But still not sure if I was making the right decision. "You can sleep up there. But it's only for…" Just as well could I have been talking to the wind. The boy had turned away from me and was rushing towards the attic, and so disappeared out of my sight. I still had that weird feeling we had missed something about him. But while trying to shake it off I turned to Milly and sent her a slight smile.

"Yes?"

 **Boy POV**

And so at last I was on my own- finally!

I moved over to the old couch and sat down. I didn't need to get anything downstairs- I had already kind of planned for this to happen. And everything had worked out like I had hoped so I had my backpack here. And everything I owned for the moment I had in that backpack- so I didn't need to meet people for the rest of the day…

"Hey…" I sighed deeply when I heard Jody's voice in the stairs. "Mike told me to take these to you." Her short form looked even shorter holding onto a big quilt and a pillow. "So I guess…" Not without it getting hard she walked over to the sofa and dropped the things. "Is there anything else you need?" I shook my head. "Are you…"

"Can you guys just leave me alone already?"

Jody's kind smile towards me died out and she quickly turned around and hurried down the stairs and slammed the door after her.

Finally!

I looked around, there were loads of cartons and boxes everywhere around and suddenly I was so tired of always being the good one- not that I hadn't been before. But quickly and without hesitating I did the first thing that I could think of that wasn't something that a very good and dutiful person- AKA the person I had been before I came here. And so I pulled out one box from the shelf and sat down with it on the middle of the floor.

I opened the box- who cares whose it was. But still I had that strange feeling as if I was being such a badass and breaking the rules- I could hardly believe how tired I was of always being the good one. At least I would never ever have to go back to it again. And with that I poured out what had been in the small box and searched through the stuff.

I winced when I had to realize the box was only filled with old toys, and a bit annoyed I threw the stuffed animals, hot wheelers and pieces of Lego back into the box and put it back where I found it. So I stood up and tried another box- filled with like a million books written by some Tracy Beaker. And angrily I threw it closed and pulled up a pair of Slytherin pyjama pants off my backpack.

I listened closely to hear if anyone were getting anywhere near the attic, but couldn't hear anything so with that I quickly threw the pants off and pulled up the pyjama pants on. I didn't bother to change the T shirt, and with that I threw myself on the hard cushions of that sofa and stared into the ceiling.

"Damn." I whispered under my breath. "How did I even get into this mess?"

I laid like that for most of the night. Moved from one side to the other, stared into the wall, through the window up into the grey skies, into the ceiling or into the sofa's cushions. I would have tried to sleep but as soon as I closed my eyes I was with my dad again.

And with my dad I was the same goody two shoes I had always been

What a nightmare!

After finally getting like ten seconds of sleep I stood up and hurried down to the kitchen. I had almost forgotten where it was, but only had to follow the loud chattering. I might have expected some kind of reaction from me walking into the room after how everyone had seemed so awkward around me since I arrived yesterday. But everybody just kept chattering while I sat down by the table and reached for some breakfast. While I poured milk over the Weetabix I glanced around me and stopped at Tyler who was twisting and turning with a Rubik's cube. And knowing how hard it was to him I smiled slightly to myself as he went bright red in annoyance.

"This is impossible." Tyler threw the cube onto the table. "How do you even solve it?" I grabbed the cube and took a quick glance around it. "What are you doing?"

"You see… this little guy…" I pointed to one of the blue squares. "His name is Moe. And this one…" I pointed to a yellow one. "His name is Patrick. Now I want Moe and oh… Your name was Mo wasn't it?" Mo nodded towards me. "Well who cares? I now want Moe and Patrick to change places so I do this?" I turned one of the pieces of the cube. "And this… And this and this and this and…" I continued talking, mostly to myself while I twisted and turned it until 'Patrick' and 'Moe' had changed places. "And now…"

"Okay, okay. I get it." Tyler put his elbow hard down on the table and pulled a deep sigh. "You can do it. I can't. I got lost after Patrick and Moe…" I shrugged and continued twisting and turning on the cube- in silence this time. "You can have it. I've got others even harder ones if you want to try one of those."

"Yeah maybe." I didn't need him to tell me how many squares there was on his other ones- I had had all of them before I left my home, or what I would have called home to come here. And I could easily solve them all. "And three, two, one there." I threw the cube- now solved onto the table again and leaned back. "Anything else you needed?"

"Whoa." Tyler's eyes had grown big- as well as several of the others' while their chins had dropped. "How did you do that?" I just shrugged and turned back to my Weetabix- I bet he would have known how to do it if he had been where I had been.

I liked Rubik's cubes. They were easy once you'd learned how to solve them.

 _And with everything I was and had, I wished that things in life could be the same._

 **That's quite a short chapter. Oh well, it will do. And I don't want to drag out on it so this is what you get today. But the boy sure thinks he got into a mess, he also used to be very much a goody two shoes before coming there. Huh? Well then he's changed for a bit. Oh and he thinks it's easy to solve a Rubik's cube and his temporary bedroom right now is the attic where he goes through people's stuff.**

 **Random fact**

My brother can easily solve a Rubik's cube. And that thing where Brycen starts giving some of the squares names and says which ones he wants to 'switch places'. Was something that my brother did a while ago- I honestly don't know why but right then and there I found it really funny.


	4. Changes

**So. Here is another chapter and I finally have plans for this story and how it will go on. It won't be very long (probably around ten chapters) but I'm happy with what I've got and I can't wait to show you. Meanwhile, we're still left in quite a boring part of the story- but I'm hoping to change that soon.**

 **Reminding you in case anyone's forgotten- this story is set after series three. None of what happened or came out in series four has ever been. And once again- parts of this is based on my Christian religion and beliefs- if anyone doesn't like it then you don't have to read it. So… everybody get it? Great!**

 **Mike POV**

"Aren't the others meant to be at school?" She sat down on a chair and pulled up her feet to sit Indian style. I couldn't help but smile at her drowsy, confused state as she put her elbow on the table and her head in her hand. "Hold on, when am I supposed to go to school? Because I lived in another district before and I don't think you want me to ride the bus for two hours a day only to get to school and back."

I couldn't help but give a short laugh at her still confused state and I went to sit down next to her by the table. As it was so late in the morning all the others had eaten their breakfast and left to whatever they felt like doing.

"It's Sunday pumpkin." I reached her the butter and milk for her to make her breakfast. "And this next week it will be half term holidays over Halloween and stuff. And you don't have to worry. I will set up everything so you can go to the same district as the others living in this house…. You like sleeping in in the mornings do you? And eat breakfast still wearing your pyjamas." I couldn't help but laugh at her pyjamas covered with prints of small penguins all over. "Sorry I didn't mean to laugh, of course I don't mean anything bad by it, I just think it's…"

"Yeah… funny." She interrupted. "Don't worry Mike. I think it's funny too. Get away from me…" she tried to push away Mischief who had come to try and get a bite of her toast. "Get away from me." She had to raise her hand to cover her mouth while coughing and Mischief jumped up and grabbed her sandwich, getting his fur in her whole face.

"Mischief." I said in a stern, loud voice and pushed him away. "Go lay down. GO! GO!"

Mischief seemed to sense I was being serious. Because he walked away and laid down behind the kitchen island. I laid a hand on Milly's back- as she was still coughing I was very unsure about what I should do.

"Is there something I could do?" I asked as soon as she seemed to be able to catch her breath. "Any medication you need or anything? Here, here." I quickly stood up and half ran over to the counter. "Have a glass of water. That should help." The coughing had already almost stopped but Milly took a sip from the glass anyway and put it down on the table.

"Chill out Mike." She told me with half a smile. "That happens all the time, it's nothing bad I promise and… no, you stupid dog." Her voice got into another, less polite tone when Mischief stood up and started coming closer again.

Then it hit me- oh how could I not have seen this coming?

And what on earth was I supposed to do now?

"Milly." I said a bit carefully (when I came back from throwing Mischief out the door more or less. "Your… CF… can it act up from different things- you know like dust and that kind of stuff."

"Uhm…" She seemed to be avoiding the subject and I could sense she already knew where it was going. "It's not too bad. No one has to make any changes whatsoever. I have a cold… that would make it worse and…"

"Milly." I said calmly. "Is Mischief- animals with fur a problem for… well, you know."

Milly looked up at me, I could tell she was wanting to cover it up and would tell me it was fine. But the ways her eyes looked into mine said it all. I sighed- oh geez. Bailey would not be happy about this.

"You know…" Milly's voice sounded shaky. "…I know Bailey really likes Mischief. If anyone should leave it's me. Mischief was here long before I was and…"

"What?" Bailey came into the room. "What about Mischief?" I and Milly looked to each other. She nodded towards me- she didn't want to say this to Bailey. And even now I could tell from the look on her face how much she hated this.

"Bailey… You do know Milly's ill…" Bailey nodded. "…And with this… I think we'll have to get rid of Mischief."

"NO." Bailey shouted at the top of his voice- in a way I hadn't ever heard him sound before. "NO… NO. SHE'S RIGHT." He wildly gestured towards Milly. "SHE'S RIGHT. HE WAS HERE FIRST! SHE SHOULD GO."

"What's going on?" Toni asked- she and Billie had come into the room. "Don't say that Bailey, there's no reason for her to leave."

"YES THERE IS." Bailey was still shouting despite my tries to calm him down. "I HATE YOU. I HATE THIS… I HATE HER." He gestured wildly towards Milly again. "I HATE ALL OF THIS. MISCHIEF WAS HERE FIRST." More and more people started gathering, one after one making their voice heard of the little they knew about this. "I HATE YOU."

"STOP. STOP." I shouted and like I had expected and hoped they all silent. "Bailey…" I tried to steady the tone in my voice not to sound angry… "We can't just kick out a child like that…"

"But you can kick out Mischief? He was here before her."

"That's exactly what I said…" Milly stated, but fact remained- if anyone would leave it would have to be Mischief (unless I could find a possible foster placement for Milly. And we all knew that wouldn't happen so fast anyway) "And we should…" She didn't get any further until everyone started protesting, and she herself was cut off by the wildest coughing attack I had seen so far.

 **Jody POV**

"Well, you were out of there pretty fast!" When Milly started coughing so bad she could hardly even breathe the boy disappeared and I followed him to the attic that was currently his room. "You seemed so nervous, what happened?"

"Nothing… I just don't like hearing people coughing…" He laid on the couch flat on his back as much as possible as it was with the arm supports under his legs. "So, the TV is occupied by Floss and her stupid children's programs. What else is there to do around here?"

"You know. Only because some of the electronics are occupied it doesn't mean here's nothing to do. Most of our time we spend with doing things other than you know Internet and TV and that kind of stuff." I heard myself it sounded lame and tried to come up with something else to continue with and sat down on the floor to save some time. "We can go play football- loads of us like that. Then we usually do what we like you know- I like reading, Tee likes painting, Bailey likes drawing and stuff like that… actually… I have to go into town and get a book I want… and you're going to have to get some clothes not to have to borrow ours all the time…" At the last part Brycen turned his head and looked at me- but still, he didn't let me know anything from the look on his face. "Mike will give you an allowance, it doesn't last for the most fashionable clothes but we could probably find a bit and…"

"I don't like shopping- especially not for clothes. And if I ever do that I get cheap stuff from the second hand stores anyway…" He sat up on the couch. "But you're right- I can't keep on borrowing somebody else's clothes all the time." He pulled up his phone- held it away from me so I couldn't see the screen and checked some things. "My favorite stores have got a few hours open today. But then we're going to have to leave now or they'll have time to close before we get there."

And it wasn't long before I regretted I had brought the thing about shopping up!

We left (after Mike had sighed about me getting more books at least a million times) and I swear it wasn't more than ten minutes after we left home before I regretted ever coming up with the idea of going into town with that boy.

"You know." I said in another lame try to get a conversation going. Which would probably fail anyway since he had barely said a word since we came into town, when we passed some hoodies- one of them reading the name 'Jacob' for some reason. "It's really weird you won't tell us your name. I mean what are we even supposed to call you if we want to talk to you or anything? How are we going to make rumors about you? No I'm just kidding- but you do know the less you tell people about yourself. The more space it is for them to start of ru…"

"Brycen."

"What?"

"Brycen…" The boy had interrupted me and now pushed a few T shirts to the side to ceck if there was anything nice for him to buy. "My name… It's Brycen. Brycen Rosensteel. But don't tell anyone else yet. I'd like to do it myself." He grabbed one T shirt that said 'don't hate' in rainbow- colored letters.

"Okay…" I hesitated. "I won't then… That's a nice shirt. Should we look for some swimming trunks as well later? I mean, we're going swimming on Saturday…" Brycen looked up with a flinch- staring with his eyes big and scared looking for several seconds, before he pulled himself together and looked back towards the clothes hanger.

"Swimming… Yeah… I guess I should get some swimming trunks then."

 **Well. Because of Milly's illness they'll have to get rid of Mischief and Bailey's really not happy about that. The boy- or Brycen Rosensteel which his name is, still seems strange to me. Oh and they're going swimming- while Jody tries to make friends with him**

 **Random fact**

I honestly don't know if CF could get worse by fur and stuff like that, but let's say it does-or else, let's say Milly's allergic.


	5. New boy?

**I honestly think I should quit apologizing for not updating in so long. I keep on falling off the face of the earth anyways. But here I am, and I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever. But here we are and… I guess… Well, you'll have to read and see.**

 **Brycen POV**

I had to admit keeping secrets at a place like the dumping ground was harder than I could have ever imagined. And six days after I had arrived I still pretty much spent all of my time in the attic.

For my first night Mike had said it was only temporary. But I didn't bring it up about living in the attic. And Mike himself seemed to have forgotten. And with that, I spent all of my time searching through boxes and shelves and boxes on shelves. At least no one had walked in on me doing it- maybe I should stop doing it because I understood that I shouldn't? Nah!

I had gone into town the day before we were going swimming. Without telling anybody and making myself as invisible as possible in white and black clothes I crossed in between people, bought some silver tape. Tucked it down my bag and then walked back to the dumping ground.

I guess I didn't in any way wanted to do it. When I sat on the sofa I had as for bed with that roll of tape in my hand knowing what I still had to do. Knowing what on earth could happen if I didn't. And still not knowing a piece of what would happen despite all my ways trying not to make it happen. And with that I started searching for the end of the tape and pulled up my shirt.

 **Mike POV**

"FINALLY."

When we arrived by the swimming pool the very day that the children had been longing for so long. (Well, for younger children two weeks could seem like years) Floss let hear a happy shout. That right before we all got our things from the bus and ran from the bus and up by the pool.

"Okay kids." I made my voice heard once we were inside. "This really isn't rocket science. The girl's locker room is there, and the boys' right there…" I pointed to the doors. "Carmen and Tee, help May- Li to keep an eye on the younger girls and Tyler… Well, there are no boys so small they will need help or keeping an eye on. So we could go here and we'll meet by the pool and we'll… have a blast."

The younger children- mostly Floss cheered so loudly, that when the girls moved into their locker room we could hear the cheering long after the doors had closed. But maybe, the boys' silent moving might have had something to do with why the girls (Hrm, Floss) were so very loud.

"You know…" Nothing much was said until Mo suddenly spoke up to Brycen in the shower room. "You are supposed to take your shirt off before going to the pool- you're actually supposed to undress and shower before. It's the rules for the hygiene. You know what hygiene is do you?"

I knew Mo Michaels very well. I knew it wasn't out of any sort of mean reason he wanted to remind Brycen of the rules. But while Brycen looked up and right to the boy next to him… Well, if only glares could kill…

"Of course I know what hygiene is…" I couldn't help but notice Brycen seemed a bit out of breath Something in Mo's comment must have really bothered him. "And I don't care." Mo just shrugged and went back to showering himself. Everything would have been fine if Ryan only stayed out of trouble for once in a life time.

"But Mo's right you know." His Liverpool accent was mixed with the sound of trouble. "You are supposed to."

"I DON'T CARE."

 **Brycen POV**

 **T** hose next few seconds…

Trying to take only a few steps away from Ryan before he took matters into his own hands I slipped on the wet stone floor. I tried to- God knows how put out my hands in (somewhat) the right way so I at least wouldn't hit my head the hardest I possibly could.

I barely knew how it happened, and barely noticed it at first but my thumb must have somehow gotten stuck in the lining of the swimming shorts. And with that, when I fell and tried to hold my head up- my head shot down and so did the shorts.

For a few- very long seconds the place seemed all silence. I had ended up right under a shower and cold water was pouring over my head while I said a short, silent prayer that everyone would have turned away if they'd noticed what happened.

 _If only I had been so lucky_

"You're a girl"

 **Well, I bet you didn't see that one coming. Cliffy cliffy cliffy**

 **Random fact**

I had planned that shower room scene for ages. And for a while it included Tyler- then Ryan on purpose pulling Brycen's shorts down. Then Tyler saying that last. Until… Well, until it happened this way.


	6. In and out

I and each and every person in the whole shower room froze at Ryan's shout. And knowing that I shouldn't look to see if it was true I kept my eyes staring into Brycen's for a good ten seconds that felt more like ten years.

"Mo." I started at last and it seemed like the sound of my voice woke Brycen up because he more or less flew onto his feet and pulled up his trunks. "You and Tyler and Jody will help May-Li to keep an eye on the younger kids. Tell May-Li I and Brycen will go home. And Ryan…" I glared at the young boy. "Did you really have to let everybody know?"

Ryan didn't answer me, but pulled on his shorts and left for the pool. And I didn't have more time to waste more time or follow him while I laid a hand on Brycen… whatever his or her name was or whoever he or she was and walked out into the locker room.

"Get a… Well you never got your shirt off… I can see why now but…." I stopped when Brycen seemed out of breath. "Are you okay?" Brycen nodded taking a deep breath and got his sweatpants instead of those swimming shorts. "You and I will have to do a bit of talking."

Brycen… Well… Brycen just did what he had to do, callously and what seemed like almost automatically he pulled his hoodie and sweatpants on. Rolled his towel around the swimming trunks and pushed it down in his backpack. Then walked in front of me, glaring around him out of the room and out of the building downtown.

"May-Li and the others have got the van." To finally have a subject to talk about for real almost had me feeling relieved. At least it wasn't that tense feeling of silence. "So we'll need to wait for the next bus. Don't worry I'll pay for it. But it's half an hour left until it leaves… Do you want anything… Is there anything I can do… I guess the others were going to eat just after swimming, are you hungry?" Brycen still didn't answer me but just shrugged. "I am… Do you like fish and chips?" He shrugged again. "Bry… Can you please just answer me?"

"I guess… I like fish and chips and… well… But I know you're trying to stay out of… hard… subjects so food's okay?" I nodded and kept my hand on his shoulder. "We need to wait for the next bus anyway…"

When we waited for the food Brycen still wouldn't say a word. But knowing it could still make him uncomfortable, I looked at him, watched every single detail. For anything that could just tell me Ryan had been wrong. But before it hadn't really hit me (still, Brycen was so young girls and boys could look very alike) how feminine the shape and proportions of his face was, searching in my memory and remembering his voice I couldn't help but to remember the very light tone in it.

"Two fish and chips." I woke up from my thinking when the waitress stood by our table and gave us each plate with our food. But still, as I started eating I didn't look down for a single second. Brycen fingered a bit with his fried fish and fries. He seemed pale and only took small pieces of his food in a way that usually annoyed me if a child wouldn't eat the food we had ordered for them. Or worry me, but not in this way. And the way I could imagine of what kind of pressure Brycen must be in now made an invisible hand clench around my heart and lungs until I couldn't breathe. Let alone eat.

"We can bring a doggie bag with us home if you want. You can eat it some time when the others are having meat or something like that… I'm not really hungry neither anyway. And the bus to… the dumping ground leaves in like five minutes" Brycen nodded and I went to get some boxes to bring the food to the dumping ground with us.

Brycen had never been one to say a lot- actually he had barely spoken a word without anybody talking to him first. But the way he seemed the whole way home, not even reacting to anything I said (and I said a lot!). It just worried me. And I was glad that when we came home too, it turned out the others were still at the pool and I had yet another while to talk to Brycen in private.

"Are you okay?" I asked him while I led him into the office and put the food on the desk. Brycen just shrugged for a start and fingered with the cross he had once again pulled off to hold in his hands. "Just take this at your own pace... But I think you need to tell me a bit more about who you are and why you're here. And if not I won't be able to help you."

"Well…" Brycen started, then took a deep breath and swallowed. "You know… I am still Brycen. No matter what. I am and will always be Brycen. But when it comes to my family it's not going to be that simple and my dad… my grandpa… my dad… my gran…" Brycen sighed. "Can I show you something on the Internet?" I nodded and moved away from the desk, but kept a close eye on everything he did on the screen until he had a picture and text of some recent newspaper on the screen. With a picture of a smiling girl that I couldn't help to have the feeling I'd seen before. And some text

 _Thirteen year old Rose Isteller has disappeared from her home, Newcastle England on Friday._

 **Sorry this is just a filler. I promise you'll get some more answers next time.**

 **Random fact**

The plan for Rose's name was for her last name to be Steller. But it bothers me when one last name starts with the same letter as the first name ends with so that made- Isteller.


	7. To be or not to be

**Brycen's point of view**

"Let me get this straight…" After what felt like a year after I had gotten up that headline on the computer Mike turned his chair and looked to me. "Your actual name is Rose?"

"Yes."

I wasn't Rose- but it was still my name.

"And you ran away."

"Yes."

What other choice did I have anyway?

"And now your parents are really worried about you?"

"Yes."

I had seen the video on the news.

"I want you…." Mike was talking really slowly and was probably angry with me. "…to tell me the whole story about how this happened… now."

"Well…"

 **Flashback**

I held my hair back as I leaned over my breakfast bowl to get another spoon of Weetabix without dripping milk all over my school uniform. Oh how I hated my hair being so long, and oh how I hated…

"Rosie…"

Dad's stupid nickname.

"My name isn't Rosie." I mumbled. "You gave me my name yourself. So stop calling me by that stupid nickname."

"Rosie…"

I sighed and went to pour out half of my original bowl of breakfast. I couldn't bear to eat more anyway, and while I washed of the bowl as slowly as I possibly could. I knew it was now or never, if I told him before school he could very much have gotten used to the thought by the time I came home.

"Dad." I sat down again and looked up on that muscular, going on bald mechanic sitting on the other end of the table. "There's this thing… have you heard of something called being transsexual?" First now dad looked up from his newspaper and raised an eyebrow at me. "Do you know what it is?"

"Of course I know what it is." Dad looked down into his newspaper again while he talked. And that was how important I was to him. "And it's a scam. A way to get as much attention as possible. And it's disgusting. If it would be somebody I know- even you or your brother. I would not let that person under my roof ever again."

I clenched my hand under the table and had to concentrate on taking deep breaths not to start fighting him. But he seemed to sense my anger and looked up from his paper again and right into my eyes.

"Why?"

"Nothing." I didn't give it a doubt before I lied. "I just found something about it. And I find it quite interesting how anyone could be so sure about who they are when they've practically got the whole world against them. I have to leave now, or I'll be late for school."

I did everything to trick dad that this day was just like any other while fixing my checkered skirt of the school uniform. Why did he have to know I didn't fix so it would fit as nicely as possible? I twisted it in a failed attempt to feel like me.

What happened after that I was acting straight on impulse.

I had a black backpack with the text 'nothing but trouble'. It was something my older brother Jacob had bought for me for a birthday only to be ironic. But I had never gotten much use for it as it wasn't allowed to wear backpacks for my school uniform and therefore that bag had ended up collecting dust in a corner of my wardrobe.

Now I quickly ripped it out and tip- toed into my brother's room and opened his wardrobe. In my wardrobe there were mostly flowers and pink and purple and glitter. All of that kind of stuff, but in Jake's wardrobe (although the clothes would be way too big) I quickly found a hoodie, a pair of black jeans, a T shirt and a hoodie. Then a pair of white sneakers and pressed it all down into my backpack before I went to my room and put a pair of rainbow shoelaces and some chocolates into a side pocket of it. Now for the rest of my plan to work.

"Why do you keep on wearing stuff like that?" Jacob asked me when I walked through the hallway tying a rainbow patterned wristband around my wrist. "You know I've got nothing against it. But dad would go crazy if he knew you show everyone you support LGBT rights."

 _I don't care what dad says_

 _I support it because I'm one of them_

"I just like rainbow pattern that's all."

Jake glanced at me over the top of his shoulder while he walked away, and then just chuckled and left. While I made sure the backpack was hidden behind some jackets before I could take it. And as soon as I could hear dad's car leaving the garage (his job and Jacob's school were in the same direction so Jacob was always given a ride) I grabbed it, threw it over one shoulder and ran over to my school.

The doors to my school was always locked until the school bell rang in for the day at night so no one could get in any way to steal or break anything. Therefore everyone always had to wait for the bell to ring and the doors to be unlocked to get into the school at all.

I looked around making sure no one was watching before I sneaked to the backside of the building and glanced up to the second floor where I knew the window was broken so to the point it couldn't be closed. It was right next to the downpipe and I made sure I had the backpack strapped safely on my back before I reached up and climbed my way to the window, then opened the window, grabbed the seal and pulled myself up. Praying to God there would be no teacher or janitor inside the classroom.

And I guess God must have been with me on this plan. Because it was dead silent and no one was to be seen or heard anywhere around.

I climbed into the classroom and closed the window as much as it was possible, and then tip-toed around for no one to hear me. I found a paper scissor and a rubber band and then went to lock myself in the bathroom. And with all in me I knew that this was my time to change as I stared into the mirror.

I stared into my own brown eyes mirror while I felt behind my head to get all of my thick, brown hair into a pony tail. And when I lifted the scissor from the edge of the sink I didn't give it a second thought before I cut it all off between the rubber band and my head- everything to have it as short and masculine as possible.

I was very much aware that it would be so much shorter at some places than on others, but while I continued cutting- a little here, a little there. I couldn't help but to smile when I saw thick tresses of brown hair falling into the sink before I grabbed it all and threw it in the trash.

I couldn't get that stupid skirt off fast enough and practically ripped it into pieces while pulling it off along with the shirt and blazer. And I pressed it along with the tresses of hair into the trash before I pulled my brother's old jeans, T shirt and hoodie on and then looked myself into the mirror over again.

Now for the first time ever, seeing who I actually was. And who I wanted to be.

While I heard the bell ring and all girls coming into the school and classroom doors open and close. I didn't have to give it a second thought. While I listened closely until I could hear the last student or teacher leave the hallway for their classroom I looked myself in the mirror one last time before I ran.

I knew there wasn't a single doubt about who I was.

"I am Brycen."

 **I had planned on continuing further and make a longer chapter. But I figured this would be enough for one chapter and you'll see more of Brycen's parents in the next chapter. Until then…**

 **Random fact**

Yes, I'm very much aware that there's no way everything would fit so perfectly in reality with the open window and everything. But it's a story so who cares?


	8. I am Brycen

**Thanks to breather89, guest and Mollysilly for reviewing since chapter seven was put up.**

 **And to one reviewer English is not my first language. When words are different in British and American English I try to stick to one or I'll start mixing them up. Such as using 'mum' instead of 'mom'. Now, I didn't know bucks was American and Quid British. But thanks telling me, I'll try to remember next time.**

 **Mike POV**

"So that's it…" Brycen ended with telling me how he ran away from his school. "…Then I… didn't really have any other plans than to hide. But… somehow ended up here and here I am."

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, not taking my eyes of Brycen who was moving stiffly as he leaned back on the couch and I wondered what to say.

"I'm going to call the police." Brycen just nodded- he seemed to have surrendered all along. "And depending on what they say… I guess you will be taken back to your parents… Is there something else you'd like to say before I make that call…"

… _Silence…_

"Anything?"

"Yes." Brycen fingered with the edge of his T-shirt. "Do you know what a binder is? Well… it's a sort of bra that… well, with them on they cover up your boobs… I haven't got one but I…" he pulled up his T-shirt and revealed long bits of silver tape pulled around his chest. "Need some help with getting this off."

"It's going to hurt…" I stood up and showed Brycen to stand in front of me. Taking a grip of the nearest and pulling as fast as possible. Then again and again I had expected it to hurt when I pulled the tape off. But I wasn't ready to see the dark and purple bruising getting revealed under the tape. "What's this…"

"It happens when you use silver tape as a binder and then continue breathing. Just get it off…" Brycen's voice sounded weirdly distressed and suppressed, then not until I could pull the last piece off he took a deep breath and sunk down onto the sofa again. "Go on then, make that call. I don't get much of a choice in any of this anyway."

I couldn't imagine everything that Brycen would be feeling right now. The pain and the hurt in his eyes when he spoke about what his dad thought was enough to get that. But still, as much as Brycen didn't have a choice- neither did I as I lifted the phone and waited for the call to come through.

"Hello. My name is Michael Milligan and I'm head care worker on Ashdene Ridge Care home. I'd like to report that we have found the missing… girl Rose Isteller. And she is here with me right now."

Every time I used the word girl and the name Rose or she or her I could see Brycen flinch. And there was something in him that seemed mostly unbearable when I put the phone down and waited for the police to arrive.

"They're coming here to get you. They're taking you to the station and unless you have anything else to add your parents will be there and take you… home."

Brycen nodded again. And nothing else was said before we heard the doorbell ring and I went to get it. Two policemen came into the room, one with a picture of a girl… Well, Rose. And when Brycen looked up on him he kept on looking at the photo and then back to Brycen, at the photo again and back… And he knew.

But they didn't say anything else than what I already knew and when I followed them to the station in my own car. And then was put in a waiting room with a man, a woman and a teenage boy whom I had all seen on the video on the news…

I didn't know anything.

 **Brycen POV**

Here we were again. It didn't take me many days of running and hiding until I would be right back to where I was before, or somewhere else. I wasn't so sure. It depended on how mum and dad- mostly dad reacted…

"ROSE."

Mum, dad and Jake had been sitting on those uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting area but when I came through the door with the policeman and Mike right behind me mum was the first to fly onto her feet and run over.

She wanted and tried to embrace me. But without second thought I took a step back not to let her. Which I was grateful for- only moving backwards made my ribs ache… so an embrace.

But mum seemed devastated when she looked up and saw that I had changed.

"Rose…"

I didn't answer- I didn't say one word. What would I have said anyway?

"Rose…"

"I am not Rose."

"Of course you are." Dad's voice sounded broken and hoarse in a way I had never heard before. "You are Rose. It's your name."

"I am not Rose. I've never been."

"Yes you are." Dad was going from sounding relieved to sounding more and more annoyed. "It's the name we gave you. Because it was the name we wanted for our little girl…"

"I'm not your little girl." I fizzled and wished I could have grown a couple of decimeters right there and then to stand taller than my dad. "I'm not yours, I'm not little, I'm not a girl, and I'm not Rose. I am my own, I am a boy- And I am Brycen."

"Tran…"

It seemed to go up for my dad that I had mentioned transsexuality only minutes before I left. He glanced downwards, to my hands where I fingered with my rainbow wristband to my rainbow shoelaces.

"Oh god…" Dad finally looked away from me and turned taking a few steps breathing heavily. "I think I'm gonna be sick…"

Dad didn't seem to be able to keep still while he walked from one wall to the other and really seeming nauseas. Before he turned back towards me in an anger rage and a fire burning in his eyes.

"You are no child of mine…" He was now breathing heavier than I had ever heard before. "…And unless you get away from that nonsense right now I am not letting you back under my roof."

I didn't move an inch. No matter how much it hurt me to hear dad say what I knew all along I kept on staring right into his eyes and listening to every word he said.

"It's not nonsense…" I said calmly. "…And I'd rather be myself without you than with you trying to pretend to be somebody else…" Dad panted once again. And it wouldn't have surprised me if he would have hit me right in the face.

"Jack…" Mum tried in a broken kind of voice. But dad didn't listen, he never listened to anyone while he was sure as hell he was right. And now while he wasn't- my dad wasn't one to swallow his pride and let go.

"Lisa… Jacob. Let's go home." Dad spit towards me when he passed. "Lisa, Jacob… NOW." Mum had already turned and taken a few slow steps towards the door and dad but Jake kept watching me. "JACOB JACK ISTELLER."

At last my brother just shook his head and followed mum and dad while a policeman opened the doors for them and I and Mike were left in silence so deep if someone would have dropped a feather we would have heard it fall to the ground.

"Well that was quick…" My own voice sounded weirdly distant. But there was nothing else for me here, and I could already hear the tires screeching towards the gravel on the parking lot when dad drove away while I looked up at Mike and tried to seem a thousand times more secure than what I felt.

"Told you."

 **Random fact**

This chapter was going to be longer. But knowing nothing about how the police actually works, and as usual wanting to leave a cliffhanger this is what you get. But now you did get to see Brycen's parents and brother…

 **I'm saying it again- neither Jack Isteller's nor any other character's views on transsexuality are my own.**


	9. Jack and Rose

**Thanks to Justice237, breather89 and maleeha x for reviewing.**

 **Brycen POV**

All the papers and questions and hearings that had to be done with the police before Mike and I could leave like my parents and my brother felt like it was a million years. And several times I wished I hadn't ran away at all only on the grounds of getting rid of all of these questions.

The next thought that hit me was always the same, that I didn't want to go back to a life where I couldn't be myself. That if this what my dad wanted the loss was his, that I didn't want to live with someone who couldn't accept me for who I was. And with that I continued answer all the police's questions. Until quite late that night, I and Mike could get in his car and drive from the station.

"Drive that way…" I pointed. "…I need to get my stuff. And if I know him right…" Mike drove through blocks and then turned left. "…Well… If I know him right he would have come up with an idea like this."

On the driveway stood two cardboard cartons- the big, moving kind. When Mike's headlights shined into the kitchen it wasn't many seconds until my dad came out.

"Here are your stuff…" He said, his voice was colder and more monotone than I had ever heard before and it made shivers go through my spine as he gestured to the two cartons that were put on the driveway. "…You may take these with you. We have put everything you might need in them, and if I ever see you here again…"

Dad didn't finish the sentence, only let his vision cross mine once again as he looked me right into the eyes. Then he turned and walked into the house, slamming the door after him.

"You take that box." I told Mike and stepped over to take the other one. I didn't dare to stop and feel about all of this- just did, and tried not to think. Especially not remember. "Let's just go back to the dumping ground…" I put the box down and opened the back of the car. "Come on. There's nothing more to do, see or even hear here."

Mike followed me, and I could feel his vision on me while I walked around the car and sat down in the front seat. Of course on the way home he had to focus his vision on the road but the silence in between us was so thick someone could have cut through it with a knife.

The others were back since what must have been hours. And still without a word I walked inside. I could hear the others' voices and laughter from all corners of the house. Yet it seemed so absolutely silent and still when I, with Mike right after me walked through the house and upstairs to the attic. Everywhere I walked when someone came and crossed me in the hallway they silent and only stared at me passing me as far away and as fast as possible- almost if they were afraid that if they came too close I would eat them in one bite.

"You can just drop that there…" I dropped the carton I was holding on the floor when I came up to the attic after what felt like ages since we left the swimming pool. Then turned to Mike and the box he had dropped next to mine. "Now can you just leave?"

Mike hesitated, when he tried to open his mouth to say something I only stared him right into the eyes. He nodded and turned to the stairs, soon I heard him close the door after himself and I was left alone.

I poured everything in the boxes out on the floor, finding only one skirt and piece of pink and floral patterned item. I searched through everything for my most prized possessions- once, twice, three times. Then I started grabbing things one and one and threw them in one of the boxes to be able to throw it later. And not until the last skirt was in the box and I had searched every inch of the floor I had to realize my dad had 'forgotten' all the stuff that I had really wanted.

Downstairs I had been able to hear some of the younger ones going off to bed. And as I could hear more and more of them leaving I only sat there on the floor with my back against the sofa, until I heard someone coming closer to the attic, a knock on the door and then Mike's heavy steps up the stairs.

"I thought you'd like something to eat…" He held up a tray and then put it on the floor next to me. I glanced over the couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and a glass of milk. "But don't tell the others about this, you lot are actually not supposed to eat in your rooms. Don't worry- it's only cheese and tomato- no ham or anything else with meat in it." Mike silent and I only stared at the plate. "Do you want me to leave?"

I could hear what he said, I knew the words. But it was like I couldn't find the right words to answer him. At last I could find some movement and barely bobbed my head up and down, Mike left while I reached for the tray and grabbed a sandwich. I didn't feel hungry, but like Mike had said- I had barely eaten all day.

Breakfast this morning before felt like a whole lifetime ago. Shower room, silver tape, dad, mum, Jake, police, and all those things I now didn't know if I'd ever see again. They were just stuff after all- but important stuff. And the thought that dad had 'forgotten' it made anger fill up my whole inner self.

As everyone had gone off to bed I pulled my blanket down to the floor and wrapped myself in it. I didn't know what else to do but thoughts were spinning in my head. But some part of me must have been exhausted because when Mike came up to get the tray- I was too far away to even notice it.

 **Mike POV**

The morning after the day we had went to the swimming pool. Like always on days they wouldn't go to school, one kid after the other came and ate breakfast whenever they woke up, then left and went to do whatever their plans got them. Normally I would have gone off to do some paper work or whatever- and it needed to be done. But while one kid after the other passed the kitchen for their breakfast and then left, I sat by the edge of the table by the edge. Letting my vision pass over their innocent selves.

"I'm not being stupid. I'm only saying I only think transsexuality is some fix idea for those looking for attention."

Okay- well, maybe not always so innocent.

"I never heard about anyone being trans before…" Floss answered Bailey's comment. "…But it could be fun. And I do not think it's only for attention. There are seven billion people on earth- so not everyone could be only girls and boys."

"I agree with Floss." Milly spoke up. "And people saying things like you just said Bailey- they usually have got that opinion because they know nothing about it. So they just ignore the part with actually finding out about what it is and say what they want about it… am I making sense?" People around the table nodded agreeing with Milly- except for Bailey who stared down on his plate and sandwiches.

"Yeah, and you're only being grumpy because you couldn't keep Mischief."

Bailey was still looking down at Floss's comment. But I could almost sense his pupils growing bigger until his eyes were all black. And for a moment I just brainstormed trying to come up with something to say.

"Floss. Don't bring up that please…" I laid a hand on Bailey's shoulder- We had all seen how much it had hurt him to have to get rid of Mischief. "Bailey… go and do something else- except starting a fight." I looked up when the doorbell rang. "I'll go and take that. Please don't start a fight." I hurried through the hallway and opened the door. "Yes? Oh hello…. Hello… hello…"

Outside the door stood a woman I easily recognized as Brycen's mum, holding yet another cardboard box with things for Brycen. Books and things I could see while I hesitated- if only I could remember her name.

"…Lisa."

"Oh yeah, Lisa- do you want to come in- I stepped away from the door, she shook her head- and not until now I noticed the stains of tears on her cheeks and still shining in her eyes. "Are you here to see Brycen?"

"No… I just noticed Jack- Rose's dad had… forgotten so I thought I'd bring them." She nodded to the book that laid on the top. "I know her…. The bible is really important. Her grandpa was a pastor and he… Rose and her…. Rose and her grandpa….." I felt like I should have- but didn't waste energy on correcting Brycen's mum about calling Brycen by her old identity. "We… He di… We lost him only last week. Rose and her grandpa were very close."

"Oh…" With the small chock that followed. "…I didn't know… I'm sorry about that… about your dad?" Lisa shook her head. "Your husband's?" She nodded, but swallowed in a way that I knew way too well- she was giving her everything not to break down crying. "Would you like to meet Brycen? I can go and get him if you want." Lisa shook her head. "Are you sure?"

"I bet." I heard behind me and turned to see Brycen coming down to the hallway. He looked down into the box still in Lisa's hands and grabbed it. "She doesn't want to talk to me, and I don't want to talk to her- perfect."

Without another word Brycen put the door in moving with his shoulder and then kicked it closed. I didn't have the time to say anything else Brycen had, with hard and kind of angry moving in his steps moved through the hallway and towards the attic. But it was as if he felt my eyes on his neck, because without me coming up with the right words- he seemed to have answered my most important question.

"If she did she would she would have to go against what dad wants. And believe me…" Brycen looked up at me with a kind of stern look on his face. "…She'll never stand up against my dad. Oh and by the way. Grandpa's funeral is at four this afternoon. I was hoping you could drive me to church…"

 **Random fact**

I didn't notice the reference to the Titanic-movie with characters named Jack and Rose before Justice237 pointed it out after chapter 8. And I had intended to put in a line about it in the story, but I have some trouble because I don't want to make jokes about the Titanic tragedy- so we will have to wait and see if I can come up with anything.


	10. Funeral

**First- When I put the ninth chapter up fanfiction had a bug so it never showed up it had been updated. I pm'd some of you I had updated. But whether you got it or not- you might not have read chapter nine. That chapter had no reviews- oh well, here is chapter ten and we're moving closer and closer to the end of the story.**

 **Second- as some of you may know I have a profile on this page called polyvore. I had made a collection with edits for this story. The collection is of course called 'Hiding place' and holds edits for Brycen, Milly, some outfits for Brycen, Milly's room, one for something that will turn up in a later chapter, and a bunch of other characters. Some of which you've already met, and some of which will turn up in this chapter. Things like clothes and meals that are described in the story probably is involved in one or a few of the items.**

 **Anyway- when all of that is done, enjoy.**

Brycen opened the door to my car to step out and walk up the hill towards the church for his grandfather's funeral. He stopped having turned to put his shoes towards the ground and mumbled something I couldn't catch.

"Pardon?" Brycen sighed slightly and he didn't speak up at all. "What did you say? Don't worry you can say it."

"I was wondering if you could come with me. I know you didn't know my granddad or anything like that. But… but…"

I didn't wait for Brycen to finish whatever he wanted to say, but turned the keys in the lock and turned the car off. Brycen didn't say anything else, and neither did I while we walked up the hill towards the church where one person after the other were walking in while Brycen's parents and brother stood and welcomed everyone. And we were met by Jack Isteller's cold glare.

"Hello Rose."

Brycen didn't answer, he didn't even look at his dad. He just continued walking towards the porch steps and I continued after him, while Jack took a few steps down the stairs and laid each hand on our shirts.

"You are not invited. None of you are."

"I am not Rose." Brycen seemed to have made up his mind he would after today on not let his dad say whatever he wanted because he interrupted in the middle of his father's sentence and only answered what Jack had said a minute ago. "And I never was. And I've got every right to be here. And I invited Mike to come with me… I am not Rose." He said it once again at the end to really let his father know.

"Of course you were…" Jack Isteller wildly gestured with his hands while speaking in a yet louder voice and faster pace. "…It's the name we gave you to live by. And it was the name- the very favorite name of your grandfather's. How dare you now dishonor his name like you…"

"What's going on here?"

All the family Isteller turned their heads to watch when a woman came walking over. Her eyes were red, her cheeks swollen, there were tears in her eyes and on her face. But something in her eyes looked something of a person no one would ever face or protest against.

"I… ehm… I... He wasn't invited."

"Hey grandma."

Not until Brycen actually spoke what he would call her she looked over to him instead of Jack Isteller. And for a few seconds she just stared at her grandson, seeming confused and putting together one piece after the other.

"…Rose…"

"I am not Rose anymore." Brycen's voice wasn't as loud as before and the protest tone was gone from it. "I am now… I am now Bry… I am now Brycen."

"Bry… Bry…" Brycen's grandma stuttered something. Then started crying and put her head in her hands.

"Now look what you did…" Jack stepped in front of his mother and faced his son. "You have dishonored your grandfather's name and upset your grandmother. Is that what you wanted with your longing for attention?"

"Now be quiet Jack Isteller." Brycen's grandmother interrupted her son. "We have to go inside now. But as soon as this is over I want the explanation for this and I mean- the whole explanation." She turned around to go and Jack turned back to his son before she turned and shouted. "And I'm inviting them both now."

Jack and Brycen were left only glaring to each other, I decided to stay out of it and it seemed like Lisa and Jacob Isteller chose the same. Because none of us said a word, while first the Isteller's (except Brycen) turned and walked into the church, Brycen followed them and I followed Brycen. But while Jack, Lisa and Jacob continued to sit down in the front Brycen stopped already at one of the first benches we past in the back and showed me to sit down there before him

"We have gathered here today…" The pastor started talking just as Brycen sat down. "…to honor the memory of Bryce Isteller. First we listen to the bells' ringing."

I turned my head and watched Brycen for a few seconds as we could hear first the ringing of the bells and then the pastor started talking.

I hadn't been in church since my own dad's funeral. But I had been multiple times when I was a child, and as a young teenager afraid of the future and my own shadow one thing I remembered was… well, it was that I had always admired anyone who had decided to and could work as a pastor and their ways to keep calm and keep a straight face no matter what they talked about.

Many times I had also admired how they could possibly be so calm boring texts were made even more boring to listen to. But this wasn't like anything I had heard before. And like nothing with the brokenness in the pastor's voice while he kept on talking.

"Bryce Isteller was a dear husband, father and grandfather. And- to many people as well as myself, a dear friend and colleague…"

 **Random fact**

I'm ending it there because I don't really have any idea of how a funeral should be put out, and have no idea what hymns or anything- or I might have just asked someone I know but I guess I would be more secure with it if it was ought to be written in Swedish… and I already cut what I had written once (almost all of the first version of the chapter) so I'm just ending it there and you'll have to see the rest later. I hope you're happy with that.

 **And wait… colleague?**


	11. Precious to me

**Thank you Maleeha x and Justice237 for reviewing.**

 **I put up a video on Youtube- a couple of years ago I and x Snow-pony x was talking about that when they show Tracy Beaker returns (as far as I know they still only show the first series over and over) they've dubbed it to Swedish. So I watched a bit and recorded a couple of minutes with my phone. In the beginning there are mostly Mike and Gina talking, but there are more towards the end and the voices are sooooooooooo annoying. It's not great quality and you might want to turn your sound up a bit. But if you search for 'Swedish Tracy Beaker returns' on YouTube you should find it if you want to see.**

 **Mike POV**

The graveyard was only a few hundred meters away from the church, and I didn't want to interrupt anything so I stayed behind at the church for a moment and then walked slowly towards the graveyard. Once by the fence I could see Brycen walking up towards the road while a janitor stayed behind filling up the big hole in the ground with earth.

"Jack, Lisa, Jacob…"Brycen's grandmother's voice seemed broken but still strict when she called out for the members of her family. They had just passed the gates between the road and the graveyard but she obviously wasn't going to wait. "I want to know what's going on?" She waited, but there were no replies. "Tell me- what's going on."

"Well… Rose disappeared a week or so ago." Jack started slowly and seemed to choose his words well. "She went to school and then didn't come back. We have been looking for her and she have been on the news and everything and then…"

"My grandchild disappeared? And you didn't think of telling me this. You even kept me busy so I wouldn't be able to see it on the news."

"We thought you had enough to think about when you stubbornly decided to work through the whole funeral by yourself."

"I wasn't by myself. And I still want to know if my grandchild just suddenly disappears. And I want you to tell me the rest of the story… now…" Mrs. Isteller glanced from her son to her youngest grandson. And she didn't even have to ask about what she wanted to know. Obviously Jack caught it too.

"And Rose now states she's a girl, no matter what we tell her. But we all know she is and until she stops this nonsense I am not letting her back under my roof." Mrs. Isteller looked from one person to the other, her chin dropping slightly and her eyes wide open. "Come on mum, let's just go home. Rose ended up in a care home when he ran away and unless he can see facts he will also be staying there." Jack tugged his mother's arm but she didn't move an inch before she fizzled something between her teeth.

"I… am… disgusted…

"I know mum I…"

"By you Jack Isteller."

"…Think it's…. Wait? What did you say?"

"This is not how your father and I raised you to be. We would have raised you to accept all people for who they are. And not try and change them when they aren't exactly what you want."

"It's only to get attention."

"If Ro… Brycen says he's a boy then I believe every word he says. And so do you and I know you do. Or you wouldn't react like this."

"God made Rose a girl."

"God made Rose a person… Brycen a person…" When Mrs. Mrs. Isteller Isteller made a pause Jack didn't seem to know what more to say. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

From his mum quoting from the bible Jack Isteller went bright red. Then, without speaking another word to his mother he stared her right into the eyes. For a moment I was afraid he might spit in her face or even hit her. But then he turned so fast the gravel flew around his shoes and stomped away towards his car.

"Lisa, Jacob… Now." He shouted back to his wife and oldest son. When they froze and looked to Brycen and his grandma Mr. Isteller froze too and turned towards them. "ELISABETH…" At her full name, I watched Lisa shake her head slightly and then turn against her husband and walking over to him staring into the ground. But Jacob still didn't move. "JACOB JACK ISTELLER."

Jacob just shrugged at Brycen, then turned around and walked after his dad. From the moment the Isteller's had skid out of the parking lot so the gravel flew around the tires the whole world seemed silent.

Mrs. Isteller turned around and looked to Brycen by my side. Then the world started moving again and Brycen stomped over to his grandma and hugged her tightly. And for God knows how long while people started moving up the road towards the church again. Most of them glancing to Mrs. Isteller and Brycen while walking by.

"Come on…" Mrs. Isteller's voice had a lighter and kind of happy tone when she spoke to her youngest grandchild again and backed away from his hug. "We'll go down to the chapel's kitchen to eat dinner. Your grandpa's favorite- tacos… And yes Ro… Brycen… We have got vegetarian mince." Mrs. Isteller stopped in her tracks and turned to me. "Is it okay if I take Brycen back to yours later today?"

"Yes, of course…" I caught up with them to get back to my car. "Ehm… I'm Mike by the way…" I shook Mrs. Isteller's hand. "Mike Milligan…" I hesitated, but wouldn't have had to wonder about what to say next. Mrs. Isteller had turned back to her grandson and was talking too quietly for me to hear what she said.

I went back to the dumping ground on my own. The thoughts wouldn't stop spinning in my head so what Brycen felt in all of this I couldn't even imagine. I slumped down into the chair in the office and turned to the computer to fill up what had happened today in Brycen's files. But I was left sitting unfocused staring at the blank screen not knowing what to do.

"How did it go?" May- Li came into the office and sat down. "The funeral I mean? Or did they just start fighting." I sighed and tried to think of a way to say it shortly.

"They did start fighting. Bad news is Mr. Isteller doesn't give in… Good news is Mrs. Isteller- Brycen's grandma does. And Brycen left with her and then I haven't seen them. But she's going to bring him over later today so I better get a go with this…" I sat up and opened Brycen's files. Then didn't look at my other care worker anymore and kind of hoped she would leave me alone so I could concentrate on what I was doing. Finally she did and I leaned back again, then didn't move much until the doorbell rang and I stood up to greet the Isteller's before any of the children had the time to start asking loads of questions.

"Grandma says that I can move in with her…" Brycen said without greeting and smiled while coming through the hallway- and honestly seemed happier than what I had seen him all week. "…That will be okay won't it?"

One always to say yes.

When a child asked to see his or her mum, asking if she or he could come here or if he or she could be fostered just like that. As long as one knew it would be the right one wanted to say yes so badly. And after everything this place had been through only since Brycen arrived here I wanted to say yes so badly…

"Come into the office with me…"

Mrs. Isteller and Brycen walked into the office and Brycen steps were lighter I noticed than they had been before. I suppressed a sigh and walked in after them, ignoring the sound of the others chattering in the stairs and down the hallway. Then started turning on the computer and when it was slow (per usual) turned to the two in the sofa. But they seemed to have forgotten the first question as Brycen started continuing quoting from what his grandmother had quoted earlier.

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

"Your grandfather would have been so proud of you…" Mrs. Isteller played with her grandson's hair and spoke in a loving tone to him. "And I'm not talking about the fact that you can quote the doesn't matter what your dad says. You are you. And if you say you are a boy then you are. I love you just as much. And so does grandpa… He would have thought it would be really cool to have a transsexual grandchild- believe me." Brycen smiled but finally, tears had started rising in his eyes.

"So grandpa… his views on you know… same sex couples and… everything? Did he ever?"

"If he did- three times! The first time there was a same sex couple getting married in this town my husband just shrugged with this huge great smile on his lips. People- homophobic or them who still thinks everything should be like it always was. Thought he was mad but he was only like 'Oh, I never did this before. It will be fun!' Now…" Mrs. Isteller turned back to me. "Can I take Brycen with me home now?" I hesitated, then shook my head. "What?"

"Brycen's written into our system…" I gestured towards my computer. "So sorry… no can do. We have to talk to the social workers… it's all for reducing the risks that the kids will end up with someone who would hurt them."

"But she wouldn't." Brycen protested. "She'd never. She's not anything like my dad."

"I know." I interrupted before Brycen had the time to continue. "I know- but the foster care system doesn't work like that. And many of the children here have been seriously hurt both emotionally and physically by as well as biological family members as care workers as social workers. So I'm sorry…"

"How long is it going to take?" Mrs. Isteller seemed a whole lot calmer than her grandson who sighed while his leg was bobbing up and down. "I can use that time to set up our guest room to work for someone who will actually live there full time. But I need to know how long it's going to take?!" I weighed my head a bit back and forth and tried to remember all those numbers and days and rules…

"Maybe a week."

"A WEEK?" Brycen threw himself annoyed back towards the sofa cushions. "Is there no faster way to do it?"

"I'm sorry…" I had never wished there was a faster way to do it as much as I did right now. "But it's because Brycen is already written into our system. If he was to go to yours for a visit it would be a bit hard and more paper work that needed to be done. But you can come here every single day and visit as much as you would like."

"And I will…" Before Brycen had the chance to protest again Mrs. Isteller had interrupted loudly to make herself heard. "…But for now… I… I think I need to go home. I'll set up the guest room so you can live there. And fix everything and I… It's late." She stood up and so did Brycen. "I just need to think by myself for a moment. Take in all of this to understand everything. But I'll be back here tomorrow. And soon we will be together." I followed the grandmother and grandson as they walked out into the hallway. The hallway was full of children, and the vision of a certain dark boy in the stairs seemed to remind Brycen of something.

"Grandma?"

"Yes dear?"

"If it's okay… there is one more thing I'd like to ask you about."

"Yes? Anything dear."

"There's a dog who used to belong to a boy who live here. He's seven years old. The dog, not Bailey. He'll probably only live for a few more years. We don't have to keep him but…" Brycen pulled a deep breath in and behind the doorway eavesdropping I could see Bailey crossing his fingers. "…if nobody you know… adopts him within the next week or so they'll put him down and…"

"You want a dog? You hate dogs."

"I know I do but… not this dog…" Brycen looked up on Bailey standing in the stairs. "And if Mischief lives with us Bailey can come over and take care of him any time he wants. "Can't he? And Bailey… well… He's cool."

Mrs. Isteller just shrugged and then kept on walking towards the door. But I bet her slight smile was a part in some communication that none of us others heard and Brycen understood while Bailey looked down on him and nodded friendly. Just before Brycen looked back to his grandmother one more time.

"Grandma?"

"Yes?"

"How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake, I am still with you."

"So he is…" Mrs. Isteller smiled and showed Brycen to come closer, then leaned over and slightly touched his forehead with her lips. "…And so is grandpa and I…"

"And I bet he knew. Grandpa, I bet he knew about… me. He kept on telling me to always be myself and whatever I turned out to be… And then…"

"And then it doesn't matter what your dad says. Okay?" Obviously talking about Jack was easier than talking about her husband and Brycen nodded. "Okay. See you tomorrow, we'll take care of that dog then. Love you."

Brycen stayed in the hallway as the others started moving back towards their room and the door closed behind his beloved grandma. For the first few minutes I meant to start talking to him but there was something in the way he stood that kept me from it. And he seemed lighter and less tense than I had ever seen him before. All until he barely whispered after her and turned towards the stairs and back to the attic.

"I love you too."

 **Random fact**

I did know about that quote from the bible before that and had been thinking about using it. But I did ask the pastor whether he could think of a quote that would suit for a character whose dad kicked him out for being transsexual. And this is the one he thought would suit

 **The whole thing is Psalm 139: 13-18**


	12. It's a boy

**Thanks to x Snow-Pony x, Cookie05, breather89, umbrella0326, Dark Heart 945, Justice237, Maleeha x and any anonymous reviewers for reviewing on this story.**

 **Thanks to Dej7902, Theangelsarewatching, natashalp61 and umbrella0326 for putting this story in their favorites.**

 **And at last thanks to Dej7902, Fanatic21, Justice237, she6, kakins48, natashalp61 and umbrella0326 for following this story.**

 **Guest:** Before I started the story Milly was meant to have a bigger part than she ended up having. She's still there but I'm sorry my plan there didn't really work out with all the fuss around Brycen.

 **Here we are, the last chapter. I hope you liked the story so far and that you feel good with this ending. And… here we go.**

 **Jody POV**

"Sch. They're here."

It was a week after Brycen's grandpa's funeral. All of the paper work between Eyva Isteller and the social services was over and done and all of Brycen's things was moved from the Ashdene Ridge attic to her house.

We were all (except for Brycen) hiding in the living room for a surprise goodbye party. We all knew Brycen had barely been here for two weeks. But when one idea after the other popped up into our brains we just couldn't leave it be. And now May-Li came running into the living room while Mike greeted Eyva and Brycen at the door.

"Brycen I think you left something in the lounge… I'm not sure if it's yours… come with me, come with me…"

"SURPRISE."

Once Brycen came around the corner we all shouted at once. Then we hadn't even been able to start or even explain what we had planned before there was a ring from the doorbell and Mike went to get it. We heard voices coming down the hallway and Brycen frowned already from obviously recognizing the voice.

"What's he doing here?... Jake, what are you doing here? How do you even know about this. And what do you think dad would say if he even knew you ever were here. He'd kill the both of us."

"Grandma told me and I never miss a party. And about dad I don't care. I'm sixteen and old enough to do what I want for my little brother. I don't care… And here you go. I got you this." Jacob ruffled in his little sibling's hair and held a stick of Axe to his little brother. "So you won't have to go around smelling either sweat or roses… And I mean after all, you're still my little brother. And you always have and you always will be, no matter what dad says…. And by the way, ruffling in your hair works so much better now than when you did have long hair. And of course… I have found the most perfect and awesome T shirt." He finally opened his jacket and pulled it off.

"Gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight…" Brycen read from the T shirt to the words on the T shirt before he smiled at the last word that was patterned in rainbow colors. "…Human. That's awesome Jake. But dad would probably never let you inside his house with it on."

"Like I said- I don't care."

"And we don't either." Tyler started before anybody else had the time to say anything. "About that you're transsexual I mean. But we thought we would get you some kind of… well… coming out and changing your life kind of presents." Tyler gestured to a corner of the sofa where we had stacked a bunch of presents. "And we have your favorite food…" He gestured to the pool table where the whole buffet of blue cupcakes, blue lollipops and vegetarian tacos was put up. "So how do you like this?"

Brycen looked around as if he stood in the biggest room ever. Everything was blue as on a baby-shower for a baby boy. From the balloons and paper chains to all of the glitter that we would never be able to clean up from everything (Floss!) Even the cupcakes and the box they were put in were blue. Everything was blue- except for the presents that were wrapped in rainbow patterned wrapping paper- with blue paper thread around them.

"You know…" My heart sunk when Brycen finally said something. He didn't sound too happy and we- especially I had spent so much time on this. "…This is kind of sexist."

My smile faded. I was the one who had spent the most time on this. We had all been helping to make the decorations and there were presents from all of us. And that was the only thing Brycen could think about and…

"IT'S SO AWESOME."

At Brycen's new shout and happy move with pulling his hand through his hair (as if he wanted to make sure it wasn't long anymore) my smile returned and the clench in my stomach loosened at last. After all that word 'sexist' was the word I had feared all along.

Brycen looked around the room one more time and pinched his arm. Almost like he needed to feel pain only to know this wasn't a dream. Then he smiled, grabbed one of the (blue) lollipops, put it in his mouth and went straight to the pile of presents while we others started putting up food, eating cupcakes or just hanging. I didn't know what to do- so I just stayed there close to the door and the couch where I could watch Brycen's reactions of the presents he had gotten. And as well keep an eye on everybody else and their reactions.

"I'm going up to my room."

Bailey grabbed a cupcake from the box on the pool table. He was the only one here who had had something against the whole transsexuality- thing. But like Floss had said, he hadn't know anything about it. And that while he was grumpy (more like broken) that he hadn't been able to keep Mischief after all the work he had put in for that dog. But slowly- and especially when Brycen asked his grandma to adopt Mischief also Bailey had started lighting up and seemed interested in accepting and learning more.

"Take care of Mischief." Bailey said while he passed Eyva close to the door. "Or you'll have me to deal with."

"We will…" Eyva smiled. Any grandparent I had ever been in touch with would have scolded him for that last. "…Come see for yourself. You can come and visit him any time you like."

Bailey didn't answer verbally. But I, and hopefully Eyva too could see the gratefulness shining from his eyes. While he barely smiled and then did as he had just said and left the room while I walked up closer to Brycen before he opened the present from me and Tyler.

"Are you okay?" I couldn't help but turn around when I heard the slightly distressed tone in Mike's voice when he walked up to Eyva away from everybody. "You looked to be so far away…" For the moment she just laughed when Brycen unwrapped a light blue piggy bank from Floss and the twins before everybody else started talking and wanting Brycen to open their present next.

"Yeah… I was just thinking about my husband." Eyva cleared her throat as if she'd been crying. "He would have been so proud to see all of this. Life is kind of fascinating in how it turns and weeks ago I was devastated, heartbroken and I barely knew what to do with myself. I mean- I lost the love of my life and there's nothing that could 'fix' that. But I never saw… Brycen like this while he was Rose. Not once, for thirteen years. Now here we are after like a week and he seems happier and more to peace than I have ever seen him before. But it kills me that my husband- Brycen's Grandpa Bryce isn't here to see it. Well, I do believe he is still here and all of that but… I would have liked for him to be here in another way."

"Alive?"

"Yeah… What? Brycen what is it?" Brycen's laughter- louder than ever had filled the room. He couldn't answer Eyva's question verbally. But from me and Tyler he helped up a wine glass with the words 'it's a boy' in blue letters. "You're not allowed to drink wine only because you have a glass like that."

Brycen faked a grimace and a disappointed face. And then put away the wine glass with the other presents he had wrapped including the deodorant from Jacob, the piggy bank from Floss and the twins, a blue blanket from Mike and May-Li, some blue cereal bowls from Mo and a pillow with blue text reading 'no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep' from Ryan. And after all- I realized when Brycen reached for the last, small present from Mike that we had basically only searched for things that were blue- it WAS sexist.

"Oh Mike." Brycen didn't seem to care about sexism or anything else. While he had unwrapped something that looked pretty much like a sports' bra to me. "This is awesome."

"Now you won't have to use that load of duct tape anymore… and you sure can do without the load of those bruises." Brycen smiled as he started pulling his hoodie off. "Maybe you should go… maybe not…"

"I'm a boy I can take my shirt off all I want." Brycen gave a short chuckle and Mike didn't seem sure about what to say or if he even should protest against the BOY who threw his hoodie on the couch and continued with the teacher with big, rainbow letters reading 'don't hate', pulled it off and then pulled the- well, I kind of had a feeling this was something else than just a regular sports bra.

"What is it exactly?" Mo asked in his usual, innocent tone. "I mean. I know what a bra is but…"

"It's called a binder bra." Brycen fixed with his breasts and the shoulder straps and it seemed tight and uncomfortable. "You wear it so the breasts won't show."

At the mention of the very word 'breasts' Floss started giggling and seemed almost embarrassed. I just raised an eyebrow at her, then looked back to Brycen who was pulling his T shirt back on and fixed a bit with the fabric.

"So? How do I look?"

"All flat." Jacob almost shouted before anyone else had the chance to speak up. It seemed Jacob had already figured that was the way you almost always had to do it to make one's voice heard in this place. "Perfect."

Brycen reached for the deodorant from Jacob. And seeing the big smile on his face compared to that emotionless grimace when he first came here. And I walked up to Tyler who was standing to get some tacos by the pool table and the look on Brycen's face reminded me of something.

"Mike was able to help him." I smirked at Tyler. "You owe me ten quid and three packs of chocolate." Before Tyler had the chance to protest or answer I grabbed my plate, turned and walked over to Brycen and the others just as Brycen laughed at something Jacob had said.

"Look here now…" Eyva said as her grandchildren had finally stopped laughing. "…How great things can become when you face what's happening instead of trying to hide and run away from them."

"You never were good at running away or hiding." Jacob continued. "You shouldn't even have tried. I remember when we were little and played hide and seek. I was maybe five or six so you must have been two or three. And when I had counted to ten and turned around you stood in a corner. And you had put your hands over your eyes and was absolutely certain I wouldn't be able to see you. It seems you are about as good as that now ending up in this place."

"I didn't exactly intend to be caught by the social services. It just sort of happened when I got lost and obviously looked kind of lost wandering the streets back and forth right in front of the police. And then I hadn't figured a lie about who I was. And then suddenly there I was. I'm not even sure how it happened myself. Everything I knew was that I needed to hide and get away from dad for as long as possible until I had figured some kind of plan about what I was going to do."

"Well brother…" Jacob pulled some kind of grimace. "If you ever pull something like that again you're going to need help. Because you might be older than you were back when we played. But you're still going to need some help finding an actual hiding place."

 **And there. That's it. I hope you liked the ending to this story as well as earlier chapters and if you're around. I'll see you some time soon.**

 **I put up another YouTube video with some clips of Tracy Beaker returns in Swedish. This second one is with a part from the episode called chain reaction. But the voices are just as annoying.**

 **Random fact**

I was trying to think of one that would suit for the last chapter. And… I thought about this story and who the main character would be for a long time before I started it. And from the beginning Brycen's name would have been named Houston, Jacob's name would have been Dallas and the story would have been called 'Houston. We've had a problem'


End file.
